God, Grief & Getting Through It: A Mother’s Story of Loss, Faith and Healing
Content Note: This episode includes an honest conversation about parental grief, the loss of children, trauma and end-of-life experiences. Please watch and read with care.
What happens to your faith when you have prayed, hoped and done everything within your power—but still experience an unimaginable loss?
In this deeply personal episode of Bonnet Conversations, trauma therapist Diamonds' Williams sits down with her aunt, Cherryl Darwin, for an open and vulnerable conversation about grief, healing, faith and finding the strength to keep breathing when life no longer makes sense.
Watch the Full Conversation
You do not have to navigate grief alone.
The free companion guide offers comforting reading, grounding practices and practical support for grieving people and those who love them.
A Mother’s Experience of Losing Two Sons
Aunt Cherryl shares the heartbreaking experiences of losing her two sons, James Richard Vaughn (Jammie), who passed away at age 33 following a rare illness, and Charles Steel Jr. (Chucky), who died at age 13 in a sudden and tragic incident.
Each loss happened under different circumstances, but both changed her life forever.
Through her story, Aunt Cherryl gives voice to a pain many grieving mothers understand: the desire to protect your children colliding with the devastating realization that some circumstances are beyond your control.
There are moments when a mother may do everything she knows to do—pray, advocate, remain present and hold onto hope—and still feel completely helpless. The episode does not rush past that helplessness. Instead, it creates room for it to be spoken, witnessed and felt.
You Are Allowed to Question God
One of the most powerful parts of the conversation is its honesty about faith.
Grief can affect the way a person relates to God. It can produce anger, confusion, doubt and questions that may feel uncomfortable to say aloud—especially in communities where people are sometimes encouraged to remain strong, pray harder or avoid expressing spiritual uncertainty.
But questioning God does not necessarily mean someone has lost their faith.
Sometimes the questions are evidence of a relationship being tested by unbearable pain. Sometimes they are a grieving person’s attempt to understand how love, suffering and faith can continue to exist together.
This episode reminds viewers that they do not have to feel ashamed for asking why. Grief does not have to be hidden behind religious language, and healing does not require pretending that everything is okay.
The Breath as a Place to Return
Throughout the conversation, Diamonds' discusses the power of breathing as a way to remain connected to the present moment.
Trauma and grief are not experienced only through thoughts. They can also be carried in the body through tension, exhaustion, restlessness, numbness and difficulty feeling safe.
Conscious breathing cannot erase a loss, but it can offer the body a moment of support. It can become a gentle reminder:
I am still here. I can acknowledge this pain without forcing myself to solve it all at once.
Diamonds' guides viewers through healing meditations designed to help them acknowledge their emotions, release some of the tension held in the body and reconnect with a sense of divine love and inner strength.
These practices are invitations—not demands. There is no expectation to perform healing correctly or feel better immediately.
A Spiritual Experience During the Darkness
Aunt Cherryl also describes a deeply personal spiritual experience involving what she understood to be a guardian angel.
For her, this experience brought comfort and peace during one of the darkest periods of her life. The episode presents this as part of Aunt Cherryl’s personal testimony and spiritual understanding—not as a universal explanation for grief.
Everyone experiences loss differently. Some people find comfort through prayer, meditation or spiritual experiences. Others find support through therapy, family, community, creative expression or quiet reflection. Many people rely on several of these resources at different points in their healing.
There is no single path through grief.
Grief Does Not Have to Be Carried Alone
Grief is deeply personal, but it can become even heavier when someone feels forced to carry it in isolation.
Diamonds' and Aunt Cherryl address the importance of receiving support and challenging the stigma surrounding therapy and mental health—particularly within the Black community.
Seeking therapy does not mean a person lacks faith. It does not mean prayer has failed or that someone is weak. Therapy can provide a supportive place to process emotions, recognize how grief affects the body and mind, and learn how to live alongside a loss that cannot simply be “fixed.”
Support may also come from trusted family members, friends, faith communities or grief-support groups. What matters is finding people who can listen without rushing the process, minimizing the pain or demanding that the grieving person return to who they were before the loss.
Healing Is Not Forgetting
Healing after loss does not mean forgetting the person who died. It does not require leaving their memory behind or reaching a point where the loss no longer matters.
Healing may look like learning how to carry love and grief in the same heart.
It may mean speaking their name, sharing their story, resting when the body is tired, asking difficult questions and allowing moments of joy to return without guilt.
There is no perfect timeline. Some days may bring peace, while others may make the loss feel painfully new again. Both experiences can be part of grief.
Download the Free Healing Guide
This episode is accompanied by the free Getting Through It: Grief, Faith, and Finding Your Way Forward Healing Guide from Bonnet Conversations.
This is not a workbook filled with repetitive questions or homework. It is a compassionate resource you can return to depending on what you need that day.
Inside the guide, you will find support for:
Understanding how grief affects the body
Coping when the world keeps moving
Working through anger or questions toward God
Responding when a memory appears unexpectedly
Grieving the loss of a child
Supporting someone you love through grief
Knowing what to say—and what not to say
Remembering that healing does not mean forgetting
You do not have to read it from beginning to end. Find the page that speaks to where you are and begin there.